8. Use toys to prepare for anal sex
Note: «If you continue to use enemas regularly, there are risks related to muscle function and an imbalance of the electrolytes,» says O’Reilly. «I generally don’t believe they’re necessary.» (More about this step in how to prepare for anal sex, here: Do You Need to Anal Douche Before Butt Stuff?)
5. Stock up on lube.
Lube, lube, lube. This is non-negotiable. Important anal sex fact: «Unlike the vagina, the anus is not self-lubricating,» says Boyajian. So, once more for the folks in the back: LUBE.
There a few considerations to keep in mind when making your lube purchase pre-butt sex: «Water-based lubes are compatible with silicone toys and are easy to clean off sheets and clothes. Silicone lube has more of silky feeling and lasts longer, but can’t be used on silicone toys.» And remember: While oil-based lubes can be a great sexual lubricant, most oils are not compatible with latex condoms and barriers because they’ll break down the latex. (Here’s everything you need to know about lube — plus the best ones to buy.)
You might be tempted to add a numbing lube or cream to the mix. Please don’t, say the experts. «By temporarily numbing your butt (and by extension, your partner’s genitals during anal intercourse), you are not only less likely to stop if you experience a small tear and more likely to experience pain once the cream’s effects wear off,» says O’Reilly.
6. Say yes to foreplay.
So you and your partner have consensually agreed that tonight’s the night for anal sex. Good for you (after all, many people love anal sex). But that’s not a green light to pass «Go» (read: foreplay) and collect $200 (read: butt sex) — at least not yet. Just as you warmed your bod up during your solo anal exploration, you want to be warmed up to prepare for anal sex with a partner, too.
«Get yourself riled up using the techniques you normally use,» says O’Reilly. «Better yet, have an orgasm first…Your body is most responsive to pleasure and primed for arousal when your endorphin and oxytocin levels are elevated post-orgasm.» (See: 7 Health Benefits of Orgasm)
7. Try rimming, or oral-anal sex.
Oral-anal play has many names: Rimming, analingus, tossing the salad, to name a few. Whatever you call it, Dr. Goldstein is for it. «I highly recommend rimming for those about to engage in anal sex, as it will help get you relaxed and ready to receive!» he says. «It’s amazing what a little tongue action can do. It can help put the receiver’s mind at ease while warming them up to relax their sphincters.»
Still, there’s an undeniable, uh, intimacy of having someone’s tongue doing swirlies in and around your backdoor, so make sure you and your partner are on the same page before introducing tongue to the butt sex action.
This next step in how to prepare for anal sex is something you can do in your own solo play or with a partner: using toys to work up to the size dildo or penis you would like to use for penetration during butt sex. (You can also use fingers; more on that in a sec.)
If you remember any single thing from this guide, make it this: Never insert anything into your butt that doesn’t have a flared base. Unlike the vagina, which comes to a full stop (hi, cervix), the rectum keeps going into the abyss of your GI tract. A flared base will keep any toy firmly rooted on the outside of your bod. (Related: The Best Anal Sex Toys, According to Sexperts)