Like most who post, I love her and have had some great times with her

Whenever we talk about this issue, she assures me that she loves me, needs me, is attracted to me, blah, blah, blah. I am just sick of the constant feelings of rejection, anger, sadness and resentment. Not to mention how pathetic I feel every time I have to remind her that, «I am here and it is okay to touch me now. You may even enjoy it». I have even taken to withholding my affections to eliminate the rejection I feel when the affection is not reciprocated. Of course she does not seem to notice when I am not affectionate, anyway.

Again, I am so tired of talking about this and am ready to get out because I do not to have to live like this for the rest of my life. If you are having issues like this early on in the relationship, don’t expect it to change. If it feels like pulling teeth now just to get a little bit of affection, it is likely only going to get worse. Get out while it is still easy to get out before you have children, etc. Good luck! amypollick

I know this is a common feeling for women who are truly in love, but it’s something rare for a man

: Here’s my take from a woman’s point of view. Basically, there are three types of heterosexual women: women who want a man like you who will be good to them and will love them (I’m in that category and feel blessed to have a wonderful husband); the ones who really don’t care about affection or love as long as there’s someone else in the house with them; and the ones who seem to feel, as my dad said, «the sorrier the man is, the better these women like them.» It’s a mystery to me why some women gravitate to these kinds of men. I won’t put up with that kind of crap.

If this woman is something of a thrill-seeker to start with, then you’re probably just not fulfilling that craving for danger. Some women want to walk the edge all the time, whether it’s in their hobbies, or their men. They crave the «high» that comes from dealing with a ticking time bomb of a relationship.

The reasons for this? Who knows? But you are obviously miserable, and you seem like a good guy, so you definitely deserve better.

Here’s the classic Dear Abby question: Are you better off with or without her? Answer that, then make an appointment with a relationship therapist and ask her to go with you. If she won’t go, then go alone. You need help to figure out why you’re willing to stay with a woman who makes you feel like less of a man. Good luck. anon3428

I have to say that I am totally blown away by how many people posted on this question. I now feel validated and less «weird», now that I understand I am not the only man or woman struggling with this issue.

I am in love with the most amazing woman I have ever met. She is funny, smart, spiritual and full of life. She is the most tolerant, forgiving, accepting and optimistic person I know and I love those things about her. I had to chase her hard and fight off some stiff competition, and when she said yes when I proposed, I felt as if I’d won the lottery three times over! It was the greatest feeling of happiness I’d ever felt.

Find that someone who wants and needs love like you do

I definitely have her on a pedestal and treat her like a princess and I know she appreciates it. I am wildly attracted to her and I barely notice other women anymore. I can’t even indulge a sexual fantasy about another woman.